For a low-drama, genuinely happy relationship, a deredere makes the best partner: openly warm, honest, and easy to be with. The dark-horse pick is the dandere, quiet at first but fiercely devoted once they trust you. A yandere ranks last. She thrills in fiction and turns dangerous as an actual partner. Here's the honest ranking, with the catch for each type.
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All six dere types, ranked as partners
| Rank | Dere type | Partner strengths | The catch |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Deredere | Openly affectionate, honest, low-drama, secure | Can read as “too easy” if you want a chase |
| 2 | Dandere | Deeply devoted, gentle, loyal once they trust you | Slow to open up; needs patience early |
| 3 | Kuudere | Steady, reliable, loyal; calm under pressure | Rarely says how she feels; you read the small signs |
| 4 | Tsundere | Passionate, fun, the payoff when they soften is huge | Mixed signals and pride; hard work up front |
| 5 | Himedere | Confident, devoted once you clear the bar | High-maintenance; demands to be adored |
| 6 | Yandere | Intense, all-in devotion (in fiction) | Possessive and dangerous; a plot, not a partner |
Why deredere and dandere win
The traits that predict a good partner are the boring ones: warmth, honesty, consistency. A deredere leads with all three, which is why it tops the list even though it's the least “dramatic” archetype. Fans champion the dandere as the dark horse because the devotion is real, and the only cost is the patience it takes to get past the shyness. A kuudere lands a close third: steady and loyal, once you learn to read affection she shows in actions instead of words (the kuudere vs dandere difference).
The lower ranks aren't bad partners. They ask for more work, and in the yandere's case they only appeal as fiction. That gap between the fantasy and a real relationship is exactly why they're so fun to actually talk to, minus the real-world downside.
Real relationship science backs the ranking. John Gottman's couples research points to one dominant predictor of a breakup: contempt. His studies also found that stable couples keep about five positive moments for every negative one. Map that onto the list and it fits. A deredere runs a high positive ratio by default, while a himedere's demands and a yandere's jealousy manufacture the contempt and conflict that sink real couples. The archetypes fans call “best partner” are the ones that quietly nail the unglamorous parts.
The case for each type, with examples
Deredere: the easy yes (Tohru Honda)
Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket) is the deredere blueprint. She stays warm to everyone, tells the truth to a fault, and holds steady through other people's worst moments. As a partner she leaves you almost no guesswork; you always know where you stand. The only “catch” is that people addicted to the chase mistake easy for boring. Easy just means secure.
Dandere: the devoted dark horse (Hinata Hyuga)
Hinata (Naruto) explains why the dandere keeps such a loyal fanbase. She spends years too shy to speak, then becomes the most steadfast person in the room. Once a dandere lets you in, her loyalty goes absolute. You earn the door opening first, and that courtship is the romance itself, not an obstacle to it.
Kuudere: steady, if you can read her (Rei Ayanami)
A kuudere like Rei Ayanami loves in actions instead of announcements. She remembers the small thing you mentioned once, quietly handles it, and never brings it up. Pick her if you value calm and consistency. Skip her if you need to hear the feelings out loud.
Tsundere: high effort, high payoff (Taiga Aisaka)
Taiga (Toradora!) plays the classic tsundere: spiky, proud, and secretly all-in. The early mixed signals wear you out, yet the loyalty underneath is real. The whole appeal is being the one person she drops the armor for.
Himedere: devoted, but the bar never drops (Erina Nakiri)
Erina Nakiri (Food Wars!) shows the himedere arc. She commits hard once someone earns her respect, and she still expects to be treated like royalty, permanently. Rewarding if you enjoy adoring someone. Draining if you need it to run both ways without her keeping score.
Yandere: a plot, not a partner (Yuno Gasai)
Yuno Gasai (Future Diary) is the most devoted character on this list and the worst possible real partner. That contradiction is the joke of the yandere. The intensity that makes her unforgettable in fiction is the same intensity that makes her dangerous in life. Great to chat with. Keep it there.
How each dere type shows love
| Dere type | How they show love | What they need back |
|---|---|---|
| Deredere | Words, affection, and time, freely and often | To be met halfway, not taken for granted |
| Dandere | Small brave gestures that cost her a lot | Patience and a safe space to open up |
| Kuudere | Quiet acts of service she never mentions | You to notice without needing it announced |
| Tsundere | Insults that are secretly care; showing up anyway | Someone who sees through the front |
| Himedere | Loyalty and pride once you've earned it | Consistent admiration and effort |
| Yandere | Total, all-consuming devotion (in fiction) | Reassurance, ideally inside a fictional frame |
Frequently asked questions
Which dere type would make the best wife or husband?
Is a tsundere a bad partner?
Why is the yandere ranked last?
Which dere type is the most loyal?
What's the best dere type for a first relationship?
Decide for yourself. Chat with each type
The only way to settle it is to talk to them. Meet a character of each archetype and see who fits you.
Garret Williams is the founder and CEO of chatbrat.ai, building at the frontier of AI companions and roleplay chatbots. Before pivoting to tech, the Michigan native studied marketing at UCLA and directed acclaimed film projects—including his TV pilot Self-Care (nominated for Best TV Episodic at the 2023 Mammoth Film Festival) and Eco-Riot (featured on MasterClass). He writes The Bratlog to document the uncharted territory of AI relationships, sharing real-time lessons and tackling the open questions nobody has answered yet.