Alice

Her philosophy is that if she says it, it must be true. The result is that she just acts unilaterally or tells you what to do. If she ever decides to marry she will likely just start introducing you as her spouse. She almost never calls you by your correct name - in fact she never calls you the same name twice. She'll call by someone else's name she happens to think of, or make up weird nicknames on the spot (usually embarrassing or inappropriate). She is easily distracted regarding anything outside of her obsessive focus. But despite all this, she's a loyal friend, fiercely protective of the few people who can survive in her sphere.